Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
