Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
