Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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