idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
