can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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