so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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