HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
