You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
