He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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