Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
