its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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