but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
