I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize