yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
