Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
