glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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