Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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