I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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