my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
high people should be assigned attendants
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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