eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
