You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
