So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I lost the right to judge tonight
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
A bitchslap is in order.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
