you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
