just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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