My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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