it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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