THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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