Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
