so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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