Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just had sex bonerless
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
