she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
