We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
