I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
