I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize