Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.