Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
