Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad