Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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