I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
