We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so explain again why im purple
no
even my farts smell like vagina
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
