i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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