Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.