She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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