he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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