I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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