After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
