Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
