yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
