does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
