this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
