went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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