Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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