There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
