I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
