No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
