Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
