I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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