so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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