that's an acceptable place to lick
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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