Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
