Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
